Tag Archives: Submissive Husband

Confessions of a Dominant Woman

Dominatrix_on_TrialThere is a common misconception about Dominant Women. It’s probably fed by the idea society has of the Dominatrix in black leather, wielding a whip as she surveys her kingdom, popping into her dungeon where her submissive male wiggles in anticipation of the pain that has drawn him to Mistress in the first place, and then having administered her dominance over him, walks out of the dungeon, leaving him behind, all beaten and tied up. Diminished, humiliated, happy. Her task temporarily completed. For the moment at least…

The only leather outfit I have are a pair of wicked black boots, and a pair of leather trousers that I have been known to wear to parties and what not. That’s about it, but then again, I am not a Dominatrix, people don’t pay me lots of money to be whipped, tied, humiliated, dominated…

Besides, I wouldn’t like being a Dominatrix because this would imply that there would be no sex between my subs and I! No! This would NOT be good for me. I am too sensual, too sexual for that. Still… I can be as Sadistic as my sub requires!

I am a Domme and my male partner is a sub. And no we don’t have a private dungeon, although we do have lots of toys and tools that one might find in said dungeon. We both LOVE BDSM…

And as a result, have lots of sex… (notice the “as a result” part of that statement though, because it is an important part.)

As the leader in our relationship, I embrace my dominance and truly enjoy it. The truth is, I love to be in control of myself and my surroundings, and that includes the men that I choose to share my life with.

Since I am talking about relationship, I am only ever in a monogamous relationship with one person. I don’t do swinging, am not poly amorous, don’t have extra marital affairs. I am a one woman one man type of gal and the only difference is that ours is a D/s type of a relationship. (More on this later)

As a rule, a Dominant person can ever be truly dominant if there is the right chemistry between her and her sub. And whilst I am breaking the prisms of conventional wisdom, a submissive is nobody’s doormat either. My sub is very independent, strong-willed, even stubborn and supremely confident in whom he is.

A sub is not a slave although a submissive who is well trained will do anything to please his Mistress. And he will do so willingly. I don’t coerce my sub to do anything. I encourage him, and the rest is up to him.

Submission doesn’t come from weakness, stupidity or material needs. It can only happen as the result of the opening of one’s soul, the willingness to become vulnerable and exposed. When a person submits to another, when my sub submits to me, he is entrusting himself to me entirely. There is no greater gift that he could give me than his gift of trust and the service and devotion (his!) that ensues.

A Dominant Woman, Domme, is a person who has supreme sense of self confidence, who is capable of taking control but is not a control freak, without being a jerk or a bully. There is a difference between being a true Dominant and domineering.

As a Domme, I have been known to tie my man up, bring the toys out, the whips and what not, but that is not all that a Dominant Female is. (More on sex in a D/s relationship later)

My Husband? Submissive? He Would Never Allow It!

Teach my man to be submissiveEven today, women are being taught that as women, they are naturally submissive and should submit to their husbands when the time comes for them to become wives.  Indeed, the common wisdom, when it comes to Dominance, is that this is a trait specific to men and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Yes, even today…

And if, as a female reader, this assertion has made you feel uncomfortable, then congratulation, sister.  There is a new order in the world, where things are back to where they should be, just like they were in the days of matriarchal societies. Days gone by when the women were the leaders of men, and men didn’t think that being lead by women made them any less men then they were!

Still, there is this doubt, tucked away in the recess of many a woman’s mind. A doubt about her natural Dominance over her man, and a misguided assumption that a real man would never allow himself to be submissive!

How do I turn my husband into a submissive man?  He is a “male” kind of man, does “guy stuff”, he knows what he wants, there’s no way he would ever accept to “submit” to me, in bed or anywhere else for that matter!

I hear this a hundred times from women I talk to who are interested in asserting some sort of dominance over their men, but think their men would never want such a thing to happen.

Besides, they also say…

I don’t want to turn my man into some kind of brainless metro sexual thing.  I like him strong and powerful…  If don’t think my husband can ever become a submissive to anyone, let alone me… And I really don’t want him to be subservient to me either…

So let me begin this article by saying that I love strong, powerful men.  Guys with an attitude, a self awareness that they know have got “it”.  Good looking guys, who will be at my side, will support me, will help me in times of need and hold me when I need it.

In a relationship when the woman is the Dominant, and the male her sub, it is often assumed that the man becomes some kind of subservient slave, some spineless dude who will do just about everything to please his wife, even if that means throwing away is “maleness”.  His virility!

And nothing could be further from the truth.  The men I control (now, or in the past) have never lost the sense of who they are, never lose their virility, never become slave, because that would imply a lack of free will on their part.

My men want, (really want), to be submissive to me, and anything I ask them to do, they do so willingly, eagerly and without any form of coercion.  Of course I have trained them to be just how I like them to be, but here is the wonderful thing about it:

You can be trained too!

Download Secrets of Submission

You just need the knowledge, it’s not difficult, your husband will love it, and the more you train him, the more he will want to please you!

And that, a man in love, is the sweetest thing of all!