Tag Archives: female dominance

Confessions of a Submissive Male

BDSM-collar-male-symbolI received this really interesting letter the other day.  It’s from a man who wants to be called Dereckt.  (no, there is no spelling mistake in that word, this is who he wants to be knows as).

Of course, I know his real identity, and so does his wife, and my feeling is that she must be a very happy wife to have a man calling himself so interestingly…

So here it is, in all it’s entirety, and with “Dereckt” permission and the permission of the one who makes all the decisions <wink>, his wife… I give you”:

 

What it means to be a submissive male

It takes an act of faith for a man to admit that he is submissive to his wife…  It’s not easy for anyone, (let alone a traditional male like myself) NOT to behave the way that society expects him to behave. But then again, nothing is ever easy…

I remember how she made me feel, my wife, the first time she told me that I was born to be submissive to her. And when in the course of that very fateful conversation, when she went beyond even that, looked me straight in the eyes, with that angelic and innocent face of hers and told me that from now I would be “her own sexy bitch” as well, I remember thinking that is exactly what I wanted to be, and I never knew.  A submissive who is a bitch to his wife.  How about that!

You’ve go to understand.  Men fantasize about being with assertive women, but there is a difference between a woman who is aggressive in the bedroom and a woman who tells you as a matter of fact that from now on, not only will you be her submissive male, but her own sex bitch to boot as well.  You see, men don’t want to be anyone’s bitch.  It’s just not what they do…  A man who is a bitch is the ultimate “non-man” so to speak.  The opposite of a real male.  But when my wife called me that for the first time some 4 years ago,  putting together those two words: submissive and bitch and applied them to me in relation to her, it struck a chord, turned me on like I had never been turned on before, and changed my life…  For the better.

You see, it takes guts for any woman to go against everything she’s ever been taught and assert her sexual dominance over her man, in the manner that she did with me.  Some women take control over their men as part of a gradual process, over a period of time during which, by their actions in the bedroom, they are able to become the Dominant party.  But my wife did it her own way…  And because of that, because she had never behaved in any way that would have suggested she wanted to be the Top, the only thing I could do, other than close my gaping mouth at the shock of hearing something like that, was to admire her for her strength, her courage and ultimately, her guts.

I remember exactly what happened that day, the day before everything would change. Which had started as any of the countless number of days before it, when I was the dominant spouse. .  Snow and thunder had rumbled throughout the night, it was Sunday morning, during breakfast, with the smell of strong coffee brewing in the kitchen, that she sat herself down in front of me at the kitchen table, just like she had done dozens of previous Sundays, casually dressed up, neat, looking innocent, and looked me straight in the eyes with an intensity that caused me to lower my eyes…  I will remember that intensity for the rest of my life, and the low, practically guttural sound she made when she realized that she had just won one of her most important battles.  It was as if she was glad and relived that she had passed that test she had set for herself.

She stared at me for what felt like a life time, with a smile on her face, looking lovely, and with a voice that I had never heard before, told me:

“Honey…  Things are going to change around the house from now on.  YOU (emphasizing that work put pointing one of fingers at me), YOU, from now will be doing exactly as I please.  YOU will be my submissive male, and when I want you to be, you’ll also be my own sexy little bitch!”

I don’t remember much about my response was after that statement, only that quickly got up, motioned me to follow her to the bedroom where we had the most glorious sex we ever had.

I will not go into too many details, but suffice it to say that I loved every second of that very first time, and I have loved her with a passion and intensity ever since.  I am truly her submissive male, I am sometimes ever her sexy bitch, and it is an experience that has changed my life.  And one I would gladly advise to any of your readers who are sitting on the bench right thinking about it, but not ready to take the plunge.

DO. How to be a submissive male is easier than you think, and when female dominance is asserted, the one thing the Dominant wife can be assured of is the ever growing affection and love of her submissive male.

It’s not that I liked it when  takes guts to admit that I love being my wife’s bitch.  Think about it.  Would you like it? Because a man who is a bitch to his wife is so much more than just a submissive man.  And because really, at the end of it of it all, it’s mostly a sexual trip.

 

Being a Submissive Male

It was my grand mother who said it first and I’ll never forget it for as long as I live:

“Men, (and I don’t care who they are), know that deep down they are submissive!”

Submissive-MaleI was a 12 or 13 old girl when this old and wise un-assuming woman, (a picture of the all American work-at-home Mother who’s job it was to look after a family, the house, her husband) said this to me, one afternoon as she was putting the final touches to some ironing she had planned on doing that day.

For a while, I thought she was being fastidious, and so I laughed out loud at her “cheeky” joke only for her to look at me with more intensity than I had ever felt before.

“Don’t laugh” she warned! “They act all grand and powerful but they wouldn’t be able to survive one week without the authority of a woman and if women knew how to exploit that weakness in their character, men would no longer spend untold amount of energy trying to deny that deep down yes, they were submissive males, and yes, they’d really love it.”

I remember this conversation as if it had taken place yesterday, and yet if was nearly 30 years ago.  And even though I didn’t fully grasp the full meaning of what my old Grandma was saying it was enough for my young and avidly curious mind to start raising questions as to the dynamics that exist between men (the so called stronger sex) and us women (the so called weaker sex) and from that point on, I started paying attention!

And as I went through my teenage years, onto college, the work force and then ultimately motherhood, I began to understand exactly what she meant!

Men need the authority of a female presence in their life, and without it, without that authority, that order they would feel a sense of emptiness in their life. In order words, men NEED to be submissive

But it is something for a woman to know that men are needy creatures looking to be dominated by their wife, but quite another to actually act on it, and it took a divorce from my first husband to decide that if I was ever going to let another man into my life, it would have to be on my terms.

My next male partner would have to agree to be my submissive, in the bedroom and elsewhere, and if he didn’t want to be a submissive male, I would simply find one who would!

And with that in mind, I joined a dating site and the first thing I wrote was:

Alpha Woman seeks handsome and manly submissive man for a life of happiness!

Within two days, my inbox was full!  Men had something to say.  And whilst some of the responses I got were derisory and even insulting, the vast majority were wholly agreeable to the idea of becoming my sub.

A few months later, one of these “sub” males became my husband and we have been living a life of bliss ever since!

Of course it helped that I set the rules from the beginning and men knew exactly what to expect from me from the moment they contacted me.  The nature of my profile was self explanatory, men knew that I was looking for a submissive, and the submissive males responded.  It was that easy.

A married friend of mine was reminding me of this fact the other day, saying that I was “lucky” as I was able to start my new life from a “clean slate” but not all women where in that position.

She had a valid point of course.  So I suggested that she showed my website to her husband one day, without telling him it was mine, Just leave it there for him to look at, and judge his reaction. Or lack thereof!

A couple of weeks later she called me on the phone!  “you remember what you told me about showing your site to my husband?” she said excitedly!  “Well I did, and I cannot even begin to tell you how it has affected him!  Took him a few days to say it, but the other night, during dinner he said something to me that was absolutely incredible!”

“He said that he could see the attraction!!!”

And guess what?  My friend bought the Miss Young Secrets of Submission Course!