Tag Archives: Dominant Wife

I Am A Dominant Wife – And Little Hubby Man Loves It

My little husband always knew that I was a dominant woman. After all, I am the one who seduced him one evening at our local pub, and I have been in control of him ever since. Being dominant comes easily for me. You could say it’s in my nature to dominate and little hubby man loved everything about it. He loved the reversal of roles and was uniquely turned on by the idea that as a dominant female, I was the “predator” and he the “prey”.

It was the best of both worlds for us. I am Top, my favorite position, and he is bottom, also a favorite of mine. But anyone who’s experimented with the whole Dominance / submissive lifestyle will tell you that is an ongoing learning process, both for the person who submits, but also, (even more so perhaps), for the person who is in control. And this process also requires that both parties, on occasions, switch roles, so that from time to time, when either my little hubby man feels more dominant or I become willing to be his “submissive little girl” for a couple of hours, we do switch. It’s a unique experience which enables us to keep our perspective intact and gives us a wonderful insight into what it is that makes us who we are.

If anything, these “switching” experiments confirm that I just love to be in control, and I am really comfortable with being who I am. A really dominant woman. As for the little hubby man of mine, assuming the ephemeral role of dominance only to relinquish it shortly thereafter re-affirms what he has always known, after he met me. He loves to feel my power, my control and the aftermath of those reversals always brings about the more intense sex we ever have.

It is when he returns to being what he was born to be, that my husband tells me he wants me to take even more complete control over him. I suppose it is a natural reaction, as if his mind is telling him off for the fact that he tried to be someone he is not meant to be. Even as part of role play which we indulge in during our power exchange games. It is a very sweet time for me as well since he becomes much more subservient then he already is, treats me like his main purpose in life is to serve me, which women are are dominant will tell you they are of course entitled to.

It is also after one of those sessions that I introduced him to bondage for the first time. And to pain, as a reward for being such a good little hubby boy! Bondage and pain, in our case always comes with sex, but sex, as any BDSM couple will tell you, is not the main reason why people who are in that lifestyle indulge in this delicious activity. In fact, I know couples who are really into BDSM and for whom sex (or sexual / physical gratification) in not the driving force in their relationship.

Still for this dominant woman, and her little hubby man, sex is definitely something we love to have, and in our case, BDSM is something we use to make things more “challenging”.

So yes! Being me is really lovely.  And little hubby loves me for it.

Confessions of a Submissive Male

BDSM-collar-male-symbolI received this really interesting letter the other day.  It’s from a man who wants to be called Dereckt.  (no, there is no spelling mistake in that word, this is who he wants to be knows as).

Of course, I know his real identity, and so does his wife, and my feeling is that she must be a very happy wife to have a man calling himself so interestingly…

So here it is, in all it’s entirety, and with “Dereckt” permission and the permission of the one who makes all the decisions <wink>, his wife… I give you”:

 

What it means to be a submissive male

It takes an act of faith for a man to admit that he is submissive to his wife…  It’s not easy for anyone, (let alone a traditional male like myself) NOT to behave the way that society expects him to behave. But then again, nothing is ever easy…

I remember how she made me feel, my wife, the first time she told me that I was born to be submissive to her. And when in the course of that very fateful conversation, when she went beyond even that, looked me straight in the eyes, with that angelic and innocent face of hers and told me that from now I would be “her own sexy bitch” as well, I remember thinking that is exactly what I wanted to be, and I never knew.  A submissive who is a bitch to his wife.  How about that!

You’ve go to understand.  Men fantasize about being with assertive women, but there is a difference between a woman who is aggressive in the bedroom and a woman who tells you as a matter of fact that from now on, not only will you be her submissive male, but her own sex bitch to boot as well.  You see, men don’t want to be anyone’s bitch.  It’s just not what they do…  A man who is a bitch is the ultimate “non-man” so to speak.  The opposite of a real male.  But when my wife called me that for the first time some 4 years ago,  putting together those two words: submissive and bitch and applied them to me in relation to her, it struck a chord, turned me on like I had never been turned on before, and changed my life…  For the better.

You see, it takes guts for any woman to go against everything she’s ever been taught and assert her sexual dominance over her man, in the manner that she did with me.  Some women take control over their men as part of a gradual process, over a period of time during which, by their actions in the bedroom, they are able to become the Dominant party.  But my wife did it her own way…  And because of that, because she had never behaved in any way that would have suggested she wanted to be the Top, the only thing I could do, other than close my gaping mouth at the shock of hearing something like that, was to admire her for her strength, her courage and ultimately, her guts.

I remember exactly what happened that day, the day before everything would change. Which had started as any of the countless number of days before it, when I was the dominant spouse. .  Snow and thunder had rumbled throughout the night, it was Sunday morning, during breakfast, with the smell of strong coffee brewing in the kitchen, that she sat herself down in front of me at the kitchen table, just like she had done dozens of previous Sundays, casually dressed up, neat, looking innocent, and looked me straight in the eyes with an intensity that caused me to lower my eyes…  I will remember that intensity for the rest of my life, and the low, practically guttural sound she made when she realized that she had just won one of her most important battles.  It was as if she was glad and relived that she had passed that test she had set for herself.

She stared at me for what felt like a life time, with a smile on her face, looking lovely, and with a voice that I had never heard before, told me:

“Honey…  Things are going to change around the house from now on.  YOU (emphasizing that work put pointing one of fingers at me), YOU, from now will be doing exactly as I please.  YOU will be my submissive male, and when I want you to be, you’ll also be my own sexy little bitch!”

I don’t remember much about my response was after that statement, only that quickly got up, motioned me to follow her to the bedroom where we had the most glorious sex we ever had.

I will not go into too many details, but suffice it to say that I loved every second of that very first time, and I have loved her with a passion and intensity ever since.  I am truly her submissive male, I am sometimes ever her sexy bitch, and it is an experience that has changed my life.  And one I would gladly advise to any of your readers who are sitting on the bench right thinking about it, but not ready to take the plunge.

DO. How to be a submissive male is easier than you think, and when female dominance is asserted, the one thing the Dominant wife can be assured of is the ever growing affection and love of her submissive male.

It’s not that I liked it when  takes guts to admit that I love being my wife’s bitch.  Think about it.  Would you like it? Because a man who is a bitch to his wife is so much more than just a submissive man.  And because really, at the end of it of it all, it’s mostly a sexual trip.

 

Confessions of a Dominant Woman

Dominatrix_on_TrialThere is a common misconception about Dominant Women. It’s probably fed by the idea society has of the Dominatrix in black leather, wielding a whip as she surveys her kingdom, popping into her dungeon where her submissive male wiggles in anticipation of the pain that has drawn him to Mistress in the first place, and then having administered her dominance over him, walks out of the dungeon, leaving him behind, all beaten and tied up. Diminished, humiliated, happy. Her task temporarily completed. For the moment at least…

The only leather outfit I have are a pair of wicked black boots, and a pair of leather trousers that I have been known to wear to parties and what not. That’s about it, but then again, I am not a Dominatrix, people don’t pay me lots of money to be whipped, tied, humiliated, dominated…

Besides, I wouldn’t like being a Dominatrix because this would imply that there would be no sex between my subs and I! No! This would NOT be good for me. I am too sensual, too sexual for that. Still… I can be as Sadistic as my sub requires!

I am a Domme and my male partner is a sub. And no we don’t have a private dungeon, although we do have lots of toys and tools that one might find in said dungeon. We both LOVE BDSM…

And as a result, have lots of sex… (notice the “as a result” part of that statement though, because it is an important part.)

As the leader in our relationship, I embrace my dominance and truly enjoy it. The truth is, I love to be in control of myself and my surroundings, and that includes the men that I choose to share my life with.

Since I am talking about relationship, I am only ever in a monogamous relationship with one person. I don’t do swinging, am not poly amorous, don’t have extra marital affairs. I am a one woman one man type of gal and the only difference is that ours is a D/s type of a relationship. (More on this later)

As a rule, a Dominant person can ever be truly dominant if there is the right chemistry between her and her sub. And whilst I am breaking the prisms of conventional wisdom, a submissive is nobody’s doormat either. My sub is very independent, strong-willed, even stubborn and supremely confident in whom he is.

A sub is not a slave although a submissive who is well trained will do anything to please his Mistress. And he will do so willingly. I don’t coerce my sub to do anything. I encourage him, and the rest is up to him.

Submission doesn’t come from weakness, stupidity or material needs. It can only happen as the result of the opening of one’s soul, the willingness to become vulnerable and exposed. When a person submits to another, when my sub submits to me, he is entrusting himself to me entirely. There is no greater gift that he could give me than his gift of trust and the service and devotion (his!) that ensues.

A Dominant Woman, Domme, is a person who has supreme sense of self confidence, who is capable of taking control but is not a control freak, without being a jerk or a bully. There is a difference between being a true Dominant and domineering.

As a Domme, I have been known to tie my man up, bring the toys out, the whips and what not, but that is not all that a Dominant Female is. (More on sex in a D/s relationship later)

My Husband? Submissive? He Would Never Allow It!

Teach my man to be submissiveEven today, women are being taught that as women, they are naturally submissive and should submit to their husbands when the time comes for them to become wives.  Indeed, the common wisdom, when it comes to Dominance, is that this is a trait specific to men and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Yes, even today…

And if, as a female reader, this assertion has made you feel uncomfortable, then congratulation, sister.  There is a new order in the world, where things are back to where they should be, just like they were in the days of matriarchal societies. Days gone by when the women were the leaders of men, and men didn’t think that being lead by women made them any less men then they were!

Still, there is this doubt, tucked away in the recess of many a woman’s mind. A doubt about her natural Dominance over her man, and a misguided assumption that a real man would never allow himself to be submissive!

How do I turn my husband into a submissive man?  He is a “male” kind of man, does “guy stuff”, he knows what he wants, there’s no way he would ever accept to “submit” to me, in bed or anywhere else for that matter!

I hear this a hundred times from women I talk to who are interested in asserting some sort of dominance over their men, but think their men would never want such a thing to happen.

Besides, they also say…

I don’t want to turn my man into some kind of brainless metro sexual thing.  I like him strong and powerful…  If don’t think my husband can ever become a submissive to anyone, let alone me… And I really don’t want him to be subservient to me either…

So let me begin this article by saying that I love strong, powerful men.  Guys with an attitude, a self awareness that they know have got “it”.  Good looking guys, who will be at my side, will support me, will help me in times of need and hold me when I need it.

In a relationship when the woman is the Dominant, and the male her sub, it is often assumed that the man becomes some kind of subservient slave, some spineless dude who will do just about everything to please his wife, even if that means throwing away is “maleness”.  His virility!

And nothing could be further from the truth.  The men I control (now, or in the past) have never lost the sense of who they are, never lose their virility, never become slave, because that would imply a lack of free will on their part.

My men want, (really want), to be submissive to me, and anything I ask them to do, they do so willingly, eagerly and without any form of coercion.  Of course I have trained them to be just how I like them to be, but here is the wonderful thing about it:

You can be trained too!

Download Secrets of Submission

You just need the knowledge, it’s not difficult, your husband will love it, and the more you train him, the more he will want to please you!

And that, a man in love, is the sweetest thing of all!