Author Archives: Debbie

Why I am trying to emulate Karen Cheap Phone Sex Formula

As a business operator, it is very important to check on their competitors to ascertain whether there is anything we can learn from them. It’s sometimes remarkable the methods that some businesses out there have to improve their bottom lines, tips that might also enhance your own company or even be improved upon, and it doesn’t require much effort, (if you are paying attention of course), to find out the tricks, angles as well as other such marketing techniques many firms use as a way to encourage their potential customers that they should spend their money on them. What I have found is the fact that there is certainly a whole range of organizations around, some making use of very legitimate methods to market their business, whilst others employ methods that I would not use myself. It’s a question of honesty I guess and I can usually pick these companies out at first glance.

Analyzing my phone sex competitors is something I have been doing for as long as I have owned this site, and even though I have been in business for a while now, there are still things I can learn from others, (including what not to do of course). In some cases there are things that are worth while considering and examining these good ideas are definitely a good place to start. It does help though that there are people out there who used to work for me and who have opened their own sex lines, and we do bounce some ideas off of each other from time to time.

Business is such nowadays, that the internet is the first port of call for anyone who is interested in purchasing anything. Search engines, social media are all buzzing with people looking for recommendations, before they buy anything, and the rule of thumb is that if people cannot find you in google, then you might have to wait a long time to get any business done. As such, my webmaster and I work long hours trying to determine what people do when they try to find a sex line that might offer what they are looking for and we compile lists of such keywords which we use to check whether the search engine results they generate point to my site or not. That process has the added benefit that we can also see who are our competitors and what they offer.

I would see that I personally check this list of keywords twice a week and I am always amazed that for most of these keywords, google usually serve a list of 10 top sites which invariably includes the same names, over and over again. And of course, when I then check each and every one of these websites, there is one particular site who is always there for most of key phrases such as cheap phone sex for example. This company is none other than Karen phone sex.

You would think that including the name of a competitor in my article is as counter productive but I have always been of the opinion that in order to be the best at what I do, I have to point my customers to the next best company, and none is as good as Karen’s company, other than me of course :).

One of the things that she has over all of us, and certainly over me, is that she has been in business since the early 1990’s. I was a teenager then! The fact that she has been in business since then, and trust me, adult phone chat is a highly competitive industry, is certainly a to how good she is. Click Here to visit Karen’s Cheap Phone Sex Site! Customers do not go back to companies that don’t provide them with what they want, and in the case of Karen, callers certainly give her an A when it comes to competitiveness, quality of service and cost. She has a mixture of cheap and economical phone sex offerings, mixed in with some more expensive deals for people who demand more in terms of elaborate fetish reenactments and so forth..

Truth is, I have even asked a few of my lovers, simply to observe how good they feel she truly is, and I must admit they have never had anything bad to say about them. On the contrary. If it’s good for the men of my life, then it is good for you as they say!

So by all means, if you are looking for a different experience, then give Karen a call. If anything, you’ll realize that whilst I may not have been in business for as long as she has, I am actually pretty good myself!

I Am A Dominant Wife – And Little Hubby Man Loves It

My little husband always knew that I was a dominant woman. After all, I am the one who seduced him one evening at our local pub, and I have been in control of him ever since. Being dominant comes easily for me. You could say it’s in my nature to dominate and little hubby man loved everything about it. He loved the reversal of roles and was uniquely turned on by the idea that as a dominant female, I was the “predator” and he the “prey”.

It was the best of both worlds for us. I am Top, my favorite position, and he is bottom, also a favorite of mine. But anyone who’s experimented with the whole Dominance / submissive lifestyle will tell you that is an ongoing learning process, both for the person who submits, but also, (even more so perhaps), for the person who is in control. And this process also requires that both parties, on occasions, switch roles, so that from time to time, when either my little hubby man feels more dominant or I become willing to be his “submissive little girl” for a couple of hours, we do switch. It’s a unique experience which enables us to keep our perspective intact and gives us a wonderful insight into what it is that makes us who we are.

If anything, these “switching” experiments confirm that I just love to be in control, and I am really comfortable with being who I am. A really dominant woman. As for the little hubby man of mine, assuming the ephemeral role of dominance only to relinquish it shortly thereafter re-affirms what he has always known, after he met me. He loves to feel my power, my control and the aftermath of those reversals always brings about the more intense sex we ever have.

It is when he returns to being what he was born to be, that my husband tells me he wants me to take even more complete control over him. I suppose it is a natural reaction, as if his mind is telling him off for the fact that he tried to be someone he is not meant to be. Even as part of role play which we indulge in during our power exchange games. It is a very sweet time for me as well since he becomes much more subservient then he already is, treats me like his main purpose in life is to serve me, which women are are dominant will tell you they are of course entitled to.

It is also after one of those sessions that I introduced him to bondage for the first time. And to pain, as a reward for being such a good little hubby boy! Bondage and pain, in our case always comes with sex, but sex, as any BDSM couple will tell you, is not the main reason why people who are in that lifestyle indulge in this delicious activity. In fact, I know couples who are really into BDSM and for whom sex (or sexual / physical gratification) in not the driving force in their relationship.

Still for this dominant woman, and her little hubby man, sex is definitely something we love to have, and in our case, BDSM is something we use to make things more “challenging”.

So yes! Being me is really lovely. And little hubby loves me for it.

Confessions of a Submissive Male

I received this really interesting letter the other day. It’s from a man who wants to be called Dereckt. (no, there is no spelling mistake in that word, this is who he wants to be knows as).

Of course, I know his real identity, and so does his wife, and my feeling is that she must be a very happy wife to have a man calling himself so interestingly…

So here it is, in all it’s entirety, and with “Dereckt” permission and the permission of the one who makes all the decisions <wink>, his wife… I give you”:

What it means to be a submissive male

It takes an act of faith for a man to admit that he is submissive to his wife… It’s not easy for anyone, (let alone a traditional male like myself) NOT to behave the way that society expects him to behave. But then again, nothing is ever easy…

I remember how she made me feel, my wife, the first time she told me that I was born to be submissive to her. And when in the course of that very fateful conversation, when she went beyond even that, looked me straight in the eyes, with that angelic and innocent face of hers and told me that from now I would be “her own sexy bitch” as well, I remember thinking that is exactly what I wanted to be, and I never knew. A submissive who is a bitch to his wife. How about that!

You’ve go to understand. Men fantasize about being with assertive women, but there is a difference between a woman who is aggressive in the bedroom and a woman who tells you as a matter of fact that from now on, not only will you be her submissive male, but her own sex bitch to boot as well. You see, men don’t want to be anyone’s bitch. It’s just not what they do… A man who is a bitch is the ultimate “non-man” so to speak. The opposite of a real male. But when my wife called me that for the first time some 4 years ago, putting together those two words: submissive and bitch and applied them to me in relation to her, it struck a chord, turned me on like I had never been turned on before, and changed my life… For the better.

You see, it takes guts for any woman to go against everything she’s ever been taught and assert her sexual dominance over her man, in the manner that she did with me. Some women take control over their men as part of a gradual process, over a period of time during which, by their actions in the bedroom, they are able to become the Dominant party. But my wife did it her own way… And because of that, because she had never behaved in any way that would have suggested she wanted to be the Top, the only thing I could do, other than close my gaping mouth at the shock of hearing something like that, was to admire her for her strength, her courage and ultimately, her guts.

I remember exactly what happened that day, the day before everything would change. Which had started as any of the countless number of days before it, when I was the dominant spouse. . Snow and thunder had rumbled throughout the night, it was Sunday morning, during breakfast, with the smell of strong coffee brewing in the kitchen, that she sat herself down in front of me at the kitchen table, just like she had done dozens of previous Sundays, casually dressed up, neat, looking innocent, and looked me straight in the eyes with an intensity that caused me to lower my eyes… I will remember that intensity for the rest of my life, and the low, practically guttural sound she made when she realized that she had just won one of her most important battles. It was as if she was glad and relived that she had passed that test she had set for herself.

She stared at me for what felt like a life time, with a smile on her face, looking lovely, and with a voice that I had never heard before, told me:

“Honey… Things are going to change around the house from now on. YOU (emphasizing that work put pointing one of fingers at me), YOU, from now will be doing exactly as I please. YOU will be my submissive male, and when I want you to be, you’ll also be my own sexy little bitch!”

I don’t remember much about my response was after that statement, only that quickly got up, motioned me to follow her to the bedroom where we had the most glorious sex we ever had.

I will not go into too many details, but suffice it to say that I loved every second of that very first time, and I have loved her with a passion and intensity ever since. I am truly her submissive male, I am sometimes ever her sexy bitch, and it is an experience that has changed my life. And one I would gladly advise to any of your readers who are sitting on the bench right thinking about it, but not ready to take the plunge.

DO. How to be a submissive male is easier than you think, and when female dominance is asserted, the one thing the Dominant wife can be assured of is the ever growing affection and love of her submissive male.

It’s not that I liked it when takes guts to admit that I love being my wife’s bitch. Think about it. Would you like it? Because a man who is a bitch to his wife is so much more than just a submissive man. And because really, at the end of it of it all, it’s mostly a sexual trip.

Pegging Your Man Might Make Him A Better Lover

How about that for a novel idea: Pegging your boyfriend (or husband) not only because it feels good (IF you do it well, both you and your man will love your newly found “freedom”) but also because a man who’s been “fucked” in the ass by his wife nearly always “comes” (yeah I know) out of this ass exploration a better, more compassionate, playful, appreciative and attentive lover. And which woman in her right mind wouldn’t want that? I thought so.

As a Dominant woman, I have known for a long time that male anal exploration is a path (pardon the pun) to some pretty erotic “prostrate pleasure” and it is practice that my boyfriends (over the years, in succession, several men), eventually (and quite voluntarily) always succumb to, very much to their inordinate orgasmic surprises.

Even though, my male friends and I have been enjoying this for as long as I can remember, there is a book (which I should probably have written myself) which makes the very same claims: “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. (Try to say that if you’re a man who is being pegged!). Written by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian I highly encourage you to read it!

Now you might think that pegging men is only possible when the male has bisexual tendencies, is mostly submissive, and is nearly always unsure of his masculinity. Indeed I have heard that argument made to me by a number of people many times. In other words, the contention of some is that the only reason why my men surrender themselves to anal penetration is because they are my subs, and as such, might not be particularly secure in their masculinity.

Of course, nothing is further from the truth. Any man (in an hetero sexual relationship) who submits to anal play is not only straight but more importantly, is in fact extremely confident about his own masculine abilities and the very male nature of his masculinity.

And he doesn’t even have to be submissive either. At least not during the pegging action of course.

However, the idea of male pegging crosses many red lines when it comes to male psyche and or taboos. Boys are taught from a very early age that penetration is something that they do to women, and not the other way round. This idea that the male function is indeed only to penetrate someone, as opposed to being the one who is penetrated is deeply rooted. Anal penetration (pegging) goes against everything boys have been told throughout their life. Males think of pegging in terms that are both short sighted and homophobic: “Penetration is something that gay men do the other gay men, or something that woman might do to a sissy husband, with all the connotations that the very word “sissy” conjures up.”

In fact, males will shrug their shoulders and think nothing of being called “pricks” or “dicks” but try and call them “pussy” or “cunt” or “asshole” and their reaction will be completely different.

In other words, penetration is an act of dominance and a man who is “pegged” by a woman surrenders his dominance and becomes the submissive. For a man, penetrating a woman (or a man) is what makes him a man. As a result males believe that by turning the tables, by allowing their wife (girlfriend) to penetrate them, they become less “male” and thus are rarely willing to switch roles.

And this is no just a man’s preconception either. Women are conditioned to think that they are the ones who are the “penetrated”, it’s their “birthrights”, their “obligations” as women, and the idea that they would “do” their men in the ass is a notion that they are not comfortable with. “It’s not what’s suppose to happen” women often tell me. For some women, it goes even further as the idea of anal penetration bring doubts in their mind as to the real nature of their man. “He is secretly gay?” Or: “Will I lose respect for him after I have pegged him?”

Luckily, for both males and females, things are changing and the idea of pegging is becoming more acceptable. Which is a good thing because ask any couple who is indulging in male pegging and the overwhelming response you’ll get is that they’re have a blast doing it!

And for good reasons. Males who are being pegged discover that there is such as as anal (prostate) pleasure and whilst the idea of being dominated by their woman is highly erotic for many pegged men, the pleasure of the act is what drives them to want it over and over again.

Now I am not contending that from now on you should only “do” your husband in the ass, and that your strap-on dildo will be your best friend for ever, but the occasional pegging is indeed something that you really should consider.

Finally, there is the fear that anal sex (whether it is done on a woman or on a man) is painful or that the very fact that it is supposed to be painful is the true reason why men who want to fuck their women in the ass want to do it in the first place. In order words, they enjoy giving pain and if that is the case, they fear that by being at the receiving end themselves, it is the female who will enjoy inflicting that pain on them. And of course, this is utter garbage. If your man thinks that way, you haven’t prepared him well enough. Pegging is a whole lot of fun. Just be careful with it and leave the strap on for later.

Good Pegging then, boys and girls!

The Role of Adult Role Play in Dominant submissive Relationships

Listen up ladies, and gentlemen. If you are curious about Dominant submissive relationships but you are not ready or willing to enter into the D’s lifestyle, then you have to use the delicious method of Role Pay Dominant submissive as it is exactly what you need. Besides, ff you are not using role play, then you have no idea what you are missing.

As a Dominatrix, my actions and words towards my subs, (my submissive males tuned into slaves) are always extremely real and precise. There is no “double entente”. It is what it is. My Dominance over them starts in the bedroom and extends to every aspect of their lives. It is how I like it. If they don’t, well they know where the front door is… I’m usually the one who opens it for them. And I’ll even facilitate their exist by an appropriately placed kick, and if you are a submissive male, you know exactly what this means…

However, a Dominatrix lifestyle is not for every woman. And it doesn’t matter the level of Dominance you as woman has. (Or your wife if as you are a submissive male reader yourself, as most of you guys are.) Some women are simply not interested in taking their natural disposition to everything they do in life. In other words, for many women, in all aspects of day to day life, their relationship must be based on equal rights, but when it comes to sex, then the idea of dominating their males is all together different. For them, Dominance is all about sex. And of course, this is one absolutely delicious way to spend any amount of time as you go about whipping your man, and all the other yummy ways any woman has when she sets her mind up to be all that she can be.

Still, not all women (or their men) want to use whips, clamps, restrainer when they make love and I know of many people for whom pain is simply not something they want to experience. But they would oh so love to dip their toes (and whatever else) into the realm of D/s. (Dominance / Submission).

So what can they do?

Use Adult Role Play for the Dominant and the submissive

What is particularly exciting about this type of adult roleplay is that it allows both men and women to taste what it feels to be the Dominant and the submissive. Lots of couples use this method to “switch” roles. If one of you wants to be a submissive for a while, this is exactly how to do it.

But first a disclaimer…

Whether you are in an actual D/s lifestyle, or just want to use adult roleplay to experience the thrills of submissive and dominance dynamics in a sexual context, guidelines must be established before you start anything. If one of you says to the other: “I want to be a submissive”, doesn’t mean that sexual assault is allowed.
In any Dominant submissive Relationship, no one can EVER be forced to do anything without his/her consent. This is particularly applicable to (some) men who think that because their woman wants to be submissive, she can then be assaulted by her man. So… submissive women and their dominant males wannabes, take heed. Again, I will use myself as an example… Anyone wanting to be a Dominant, must know how to be a submissive. It is the way it is. Only when you have been the sub to someone will know what it feels and how, as a sub, do you want to be treated. I was fortunate. The man I chose to be my Dominant what the sweetest, most gentle man you could ever meet. He was a natural Dominant and knew that a sub needs to feel loved and protected (and SAFE) even in the middle of a private flogging.

So now that’s out of the way… Let’s talk about some Adult Role Play scenarios…

The rape role play.

Whether man or woman, being raped is a fantasy that is very common. Of course when it comes to raping, it is unfortunately almost instinctive that the person who is being raped is always the woman. And it is true that submissive women who have a clear desire to be dominated sometimes fantasize about being raped. I will admit to having had this fantasy, particularly when I was younger. But I can also tell you that men have this fantasy as well, and it involves a strapon of course. But other than that, the elements of the rape are the same, whether the person who is raped is female or male. Here are some of those elements that make most people weak in the knees:

Being “forced” to do something that I (secretly) want to be done to you. In other words, you would never willingly walk into a dark alley hoping to be forcefully taken by a stranger, but you might very well fantasize about this.

Never seeing the assailant. A variance to the above, but this time you’re in complete darkness and you cannot see who is raping you.

One more thing about the rape fantasy. The majority of men are uncomfortable with this. For the very good reason that they know they would never do it in real life and would probably hang any man who ever did by the balls. If they could. In other words, because raping is against everything a real man believes in. So ladies, it is important that you explain how you trust him, that you would not give him this “primal” control if you didn’t feel completely safe with him and that you know that he would stop anytime you felt uncomfortable with the whole notion.

Him or Her…

There is a strict set of rules for those who are in the D/s lifestyle. A sub can never talk about his Mistress (he Master) by using the words “Him”, “Her”, “He”, “She” (notice the capital H which must be used when words are written, and I strongly recommend the use of emails in which you set to tone). Calling Him “Sir” for example is a good start. Calling Her “Mistress” is even better. In the midst of passion, I often call my sub words that I would never use in any other circumstance. You are my bitch. Cock sucker. Cock whore…

Role Play is perfect for that

Male Submission – The Slave

Whenever I speak about male submission, particularly to my married couple friends, I always get the same reaction as if to say that male submission is really an impossibility and (clearly), I am taking my fantasies for realities.

It’s funny really because whiles the men will snicker and make derisory comments, it’s really quite palpable that deep down they know exactly which side the are really on. In other words, they know who the submissive is in their relationship but are unwilling to say it out loud.

Now let me be clear about this. Not all men are submissive. There are indeed some men who exhibit inherent dominant attributes, but in my personal experience give me any man, and eventually I’ll have him “eating out my hand!. And the only reason for that is well… Basically, intrinsically, men can be manipulated, controlled to do just about anything a woman wants, and that control begins in bed.

Yes, that’s right. It’s always about the sex! Control your man in bed, use all the tools at your disposal and you, my female friend, will be the Queen of your domain, including your man!

So yes… Even if not all men are submissive by nature, you can bet your darned strapon that all men have it within themselves to be just that. Male Submission is a wonderful thing, especially when you hitherto Dominant male agrees to become your slave!

But what is a slave in this context?

Of course, far from me to evoke imagery of times gone by (thankfully), but in Dominant / sub relationships a male slave is a person who enjoys the dynamics that this particular (D/s) lifestyle provides them with. They love to be treated as a “sub-human” so to speak, a person who’s status is lower than that of his Dominant “owner”.

Not all male subs are slaves of course, and in fact some of my subs don’t like this label one bit. Likewise for that other word that I sometime use: The Worm! Now I have to confess that there very few instances when I will call any of my subs a “worm” unless the right circumstances call for it.

How a slave behaves and how does a Dominant expect her slave to behave varies from Woman to Woman of course.

For some who are not in the D/s lifestyle, any expected behavior on the part of the slave is always confined to sexuality. In that context, the male is merely a sub, and not a slave (or worm). Calling my lover a slave and a worm during sex is highly erotic though, both for “it” and for me as well. Why else would I even bother?

But in a real D/s lifestyle, a slave might have a set of rules that he is bound to obey. Mine include tough guidelines. For example:

Slave accepts that his life will be lead and controlled exclusively by me, his Dominant Woman.
Slave will help as much as it can with the decisions pertaining to the running of the household.
Slave will not sit on furniture unless specifically authorized to do so.
Slave will find the appropriate balance between proper and abject submission.

etc….

I personally have 17 rules that any slave of mine has to sign on before I take him on as a slave. Indeed with me Male Submission has to be earned. Any man can be submissive. True male submission is a form of art, as close to perfection as possible.

The difference(s) between a slave and a worm

To the uninitiated this might sound like a crazy question, but if you are reading this article, you are either:

A woman interested in becoming a Dominant
A submissive man

So here are the things that I would do to a worm, and not necessarily a slave.

Treat “it” with disdain
Confine him to lay on the floor
Kick “it” – yes, even its private part

Or course there are hard limits… There are lines that can never be crossed. A Dominant Woman must never harm her worm. Breaking bones is a big no no in any BDSM setup. And there are soft limits as well, mostly insisted upon by the worms themselves. Like certain actions, particularly in the bathroom, and there are men who are very much into male submission who will only accept to submit to one person only (The Mistress) and not to any other Dominant men or women she might be friends or intimate with.

I a next article I will taking about why submissive men want to be a slave or even a worm.

In the meantime, i hope this article has answered at least some of your question. I you have a particular question you would like me answer, please post it in the comment section below.

The Typical Submissive Male Reader

I was talking to my old mom the other day telling her about this site (yes, she is that open minded) and she asked me the weirdest question:

Who reads that site?

I laughed of course. How dare she! Who would read any site where the main topic is submission (sexual and other wise)?

People who are submissive of course. And the others who are Dominant.

… was my reply to her…

But she had made a point, as always, this old and so very wise woman.

Who reads my site? Men? Women? People who identify as Female? Male submissives? Couples? D/s Couples?

Dominant males who want to have a laugh about it all only to discover that deep down, they are not as dominant as they might think?

Submissive Males? Dominant Women? Kinky people? Folks who think BDSM is like Nutella on a buttered sandwich? Once you have the taste of chocolate on your tongue after that first bite, you just don’t know how you ever ate a plain buttered sandwich before?

Sexually active couples who just want to have even more fun? Couples who don’t have sex anymore? Women who are no longer desired and made love to by their man?

By the way, if that’s you, then you’ve got to read Secrets of Submission!

I think that there are principally two types of people who read my articles:

Women who know they are Dominant but don’t know how to make their partner realize they would be happier in a D/s relationship (That’s Dominant (female) and submissive (male) relationship by the way).

And Men who know that are submissive and would love to be dominated by their spouse.

I am fairly certain that submissive men frequently go on site where Female Domination is the main theme because they know their place in this world, and it is to be service of their female companion.

What about sex? Do D/s relationship have to be based on sex?

Not at all. In fact, Dominatrix who administer their BDSM crafts on their subs never ever perform sexual acts on them. They simply do not allow any kind of sexual contact that might lead to a release of any kind. That is not to say that there is no sexual component whatsoever and when a Dominant woman plays with her sub but doesn’t have sex with him, she will use the power of suggestion, the power of sexual humiliation to achieve her goals.

There are subs who think that whipping them is the best thing that can ever happen to them. In fact, I know of one man who was my sub for a couple of months who would have been a reader of this site had it existed when I first met him. He “picked” me up one night, acted all grand and macho and ended up becoming my submissive for two whole months and never had sex with me! He was whipped and bound, humiliated and bullied, he loved every minute of it, but never once was he allowed to touch me, or heaven forbid, touch himself.

Of course, that’s the extreme. Dominant women and their submissive men have the best sex they could ever have because that’s the dynamics that is supposed to exist.

So there…

Confessions of a Dominant Woman

There is a common misconception about Dominant Women. It’s probably fed by the idea society has of the Dominatrix in black leather, wielding a whip as she surveys her kingdom, popping into her dungeon where her submissive male wiggles in anticipation of the pain that has drawn him to Mistress in the first place, and then having administered her dominance over him, walks out of the dungeon, leaving him behind, all beaten and tied up. Diminished, humiliated, happy. Her task temporarily completed. For the moment at least…

The only leather outfit I have are a pair of wicked black boots, and a pair of leather trousers that I have been known to wear to parties and what not. That’s about it, but then again, I am not a Dominatrix, people don’t pay me lots of money to be whipped, tied, humiliated, dominated…

Besides, I wouldn’t like being a Dominatrix because this would imply that there would be no sex between my subs and I! No! This would NOT be good for me. I am too sensual, too sexual for that. Still… I can be as Sadistic as my sub requires!

I am a Domme and my male partner is a sub. And no we don’t have a private dungeon, although we do have lots of toys and tools that one might find in said dungeon. We both LOVE BDSM…

And as a result, have lots of sex… (notice the “as a result” part of that statement though, because it is an important part.)

As the leader in our relationship, I embrace my dominance and truly enjoy it. The truth is, I love to be in control of myself and my surroundings, and that includes the men that I choose to share my life with.

Since I am talking about relationship, I am only ever in a monogamous relationship with one person. I don’t do swinging, am not poly amorous, don’t have extra marital affairs. I am a one woman one man type of gal and the only difference is that ours is a D/s type of a relationship. (More on this later)

As a rule, a Dominant person can ever be truly dominant if there is the right chemistry between her and her sub. And whilst I am breaking the prisms of conventional wisdom, a submissive is nobody’s doormat either. My sub is very independent, strong-willed, even stubborn and supremely confident in whom he is.

A sub is not a slave although a submissive who is well trained will do anything to please his Mistress. And he will do so willingly. I don’t coerce my sub to do anything. I encourage him, and the rest is up to him.

Submission doesn’t come from weakness, stupidity or material needs. It can only happen as the result of the opening of one’s soul, the willingness to become vulnerable and exposed. When a person submits to another, when my sub submits to me, he is entrusting himself to me entirely. There is no greater gift that he could give me than his gift of trust and the service and devotion (his!) that ensues.

A Dominant Woman, Domme, is a person who has supreme sense of self confidence, who is capable of taking control but is not a control freak, without being a jerk or a bully. There is a difference between being a true Dominant and domineering.

As a Domme, I have been known to tie my man up, bring the toys out, the whips and what not, but that is not all that a Dominant Female is. (More on sex in a D/s relationship later)

Ben Wa Balls – The Orgasm Balls

Give yourself (or your lady) the gift of pleasure!

Down boys. Them balls aint yours! In fact you don’t even have to be there for the inevitable orgasm that ensues, once your lady inserts them in…

Alright… Let me start this again.

Ben-Wa balls are gorgeous toys made for the pleasure of women only. They go inside the Vagina and that’s the only place they’re meant to go in, guys!

These Orgasm Balls (that’s how I call them) are small solid-sized balls, either empty (hollow) or containing a small ball within each Venus Ball (yes, that’s another name for this delicious miracle) that (Oh heavens!) rolls around with every movement you make.

And where is the connection between these Balls and the inevitable orgasm that they will no doubt cause whenever you make a move?

Well… Imagine for a moment lady… You go out for an evening with your beau, your belle, or just by yourself! But before you do out, you make sure to insert these Ben Wa Balls inside your vagina! I usually do that before putting on my lipstick! A girl has to have manners, don’t you think?

Now every time you move, the little balls inside the bigger ones start rolling around… Ya’r getting the picture girl?

Here is how it translates in mathematical terms! (Yes, I’m odd like that, what can I do?)

Movement = Sexual stimulation = Orgasm

Not in a mood to go out do I hear? Well you know that rocking chair you’ve always dreamed of buying?

I had a girlfriend who called this delicious little Chinese invention an instrument of torture! Well, too many orgasms can do that to a girl ya know!

Ok… What about you guys? Well here’s the deal. Unless your lady uses them in that rocking chair I just told you about, she will have to use muscles to keep them in. Which muscles, you ask, poor simple soul?

Pelvic floor muscles… Imagine that! The more she uses them, the better she can control them muscles, and well, I just leave it to you to visualize what this will do when it will be your turn to … hmmm… pay her a visit!

No sex for you I hear you say? Never mind girl. Ben Wa balls have a perfectly medicinal value in that they increase vaginal elasticity, strengthen said vagina and as a result help bladder control, urinary incontinence.

By the way, if you don’t have the cash to buy an Orgasm Ball, then sneezing, coughing and laughing out loud stimulate the same muscles so there…

Oh… Another by the way! If you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, then you already know what these little marvels are for. So go on girl… Get in on the fun!

And guys? If you ever wonder what to buy for your girl? Now you know! You’ll be helping HER! And you indirectly. Sure beats them flowers that die off after 3 days.


Ben-Wa Balls – $9.99	Opulent Ecstasy Ben-Wa Balls – $15.99	Luxury Ben-Wa Balls – Luna Minis – $48.99

Being a Submissive Male

It was my grand mother who said it first and I’ll never forget it for as long as I live:

“Men, (and I don’t care who they are), know that deep down they are submissive!”

I was a 12 or 13 old girl when this old and wise un-assuming woman, (a picture of the all American work-at-home Mother who’s job it was to look after a family, the house, her husband) said this to me, one afternoon as she was putting the final touches to some ironing she had planned on doing that day.

For a while, I thought she was being fastidious, and so I laughed out loud at her “cheeky” joke only for her to look at me with more intensity than I had ever felt before.

“Don’t laugh” she warned! “They act all grand and powerful but they wouldn’t be able to survive one week without the authority of a woman and if women knew how to exploit that weakness in their character, men would no longer spend untold amount of energy trying to deny that deep down yes, they were submissive males, and yes, they’d really love it.”

I remember this conversation as if it had taken place yesterday, and yet if was nearly 30 years ago. And even though I didn’t fully grasp the full meaning of what my old Grandma was saying it was enough for my young and avidly curious mind to start raising questions as to the dynamics that exist between men (the so called stronger sex) and us women (the so called weaker sex) and from that point on, I started paying attention!

And as I went through my teenage years, onto college, the work force and then ultimately motherhood, I began to understand exactly what she meant!

Men need the authority of a female presence in their life, and without it, without that authority, that order they would feel a sense of emptiness in their life. In order words, men NEED to be submissive

But it is something for a woman to know that men are needy creatures looking to be dominated by their wife, but quite another to actually act on it, and it took a divorce from my first husband to decide that if I was ever going to let another man into my life, it would have to be on my terms.

My next male partner would have to agree to be my submissive, in the bedroom and elsewhere, and if he didn’t want to be a submissive male, I would simply find one who would!

And with that in mind, I joined a dating site and the first thing I wrote was:

Alpha Woman seeks handsome and manly submissive man for a life of happiness!

Within two days, my inbox was full! Men had something to say. And whilst some of the responses I got were derisory and even insulting, the vast majority were wholly agreeable to the idea of becoming my sub.

A few months later, one of these “sub” males became my husband and we have been living a life of bliss ever since!

Of course it helped that I set the rules from the beginning and men knew exactly what to expect from me from the moment they contacted me. The nature of my profile was self explanatory, men knew that I was looking for a submissive, and the submissive males responded. It was that easy.

A married friend of mine was reminding me of this fact the other day, saying that I was “lucky” as I was able to start my new life from a “clean slate” but not all women where in that position.

She had a valid point of course. So I suggested that she showed my website to her husband one day, without telling him it was mine, Just leave it there for him to look at, and judge his reaction. Or lack thereof!

A couple of weeks later she called me on the phone! “you remember what you told me about showing your site to my husband?” she said excitedly! “Well I did, and I cannot even begin to tell you how it has affected him! Took him a few days to say it, but the other night, during dinner he said something to me that was absolutely incredible!”

“He said that he could see the attraction!!!”

And guess what? My friend bought the Miss Young Secrets of Submission Course!

50 Shades of Submission – Looking for SUBMISSIVE men

Feel like surrendering your malehood to a dominant mistress? Try Cheap Phone Sex